The following book synopsis is 176 words long. Read it. Make a list of characteristics of the fifteen sentences in the synopsis. Try the challenge at the end.
Traveler’s HOT L – Volume 2: New Tales from the Time Traveler’s Resort.
C. R. Downing presents six new tales in this volume of time travel stories. All time travel originates or passes through the Harmonic Overlap of Time Location (HOT L). Time synchronizers Tempus and Epoch return to manipulate the fabric of time. Proprietor Chronos answers FAQ's about the HOT L. Co-proprietor Eternity is her dour self in service to those traveling along the time fabric.
Phil Mamba, Rose Reynolds, Aaron Fremont, and Henry Langdon reprise their roles. Mamba solves a case thanks to unexpected helpers. Rose makes a heroic, life-changing decision. Henry helps Aaron in two completely different ways.
New time travelers are added to the cast of characters. Two pairs of travelers go to the future. Axel Wheeler and Synthia/Colleen Martin travel to the Mars of John Carter. Heather Mc Murtry and Owen Danielson travel outside our solar system and encounter an odd alien race. Gwendolyn Runsler returns from her trip with an unauthorized artifact.
This book can be read as a follow-up to the original Traveler’s HOT L or as an introduction to the series.
The text above is an edit of the synopsis Traveler's HOT L Volume 2. Compare this version to the one below. That version appeared on my webpage and on Amazon.com.
In this, the second volume of time travel stories that originate or pass through the Harmonic Overlap of Time Location (HOT L), six tales are presented.
In these ALL NEW stories, you will read more exploits of Chronos, Eternity, Tempus, and Epoch as they manipulate the fabric of time and those traveling along that fabric.
Old friends Phil Mamba, Rose Reynolds, Aaron Fremont, and Henry Langdon are back. With Mamba solving a case thanks to unexpected helpers; Rose making a life-changing decision, and Henry helping Aaron in two ways.
You'll also meet Axel Wheeler and Synthia/Colleen Martin (as they travel to Mars in the future) and Heather Mc Murtry and Owen Danielson (as they travel outside our solar system over 250 years from now) and others daring enough to travel the fabric of time!
In addition, Chronos provides answers to FAQ's about the HOT L.
In these ALL NEW stories, you will read more exploits of Chronos, Eternity, Tempus, and Epoch as they manipulate the fabric of time and those traveling along that fabric.
Old friends Phil Mamba, Rose Reynolds, Aaron Fremont, and Henry Langdon are back. With Mamba solving a case thanks to unexpected helpers; Rose making a life-changing decision, and Henry helping Aaron in two ways.
You'll also meet Axel Wheeler and Synthia/Colleen Martin (as they travel to Mars in the future) and Heather Mc Murtry and Owen Danielson (as they travel outside our solar system over 250 years from now) and others daring enough to travel the fabric of time!
In addition, Chronos provides answers to FAQ's about the HOT L.
Which version to you prefer?
Why?
FYI #1: The only commas used in the first version segregate items in series.
Did you catch that?
All the sentences in the first version are simple sentences.
I hope this helps you to realize that
Sagacious writers write effectively without complexity.
It's your turn.
The "Can You Keep It Simple, Sagacious Writer" CHALLENGE.
- Select a 150-200 word piece of your writing.
- Revise it using the "commas only segregate items in series" rule.
- Ask your readers what they think.
- Comment on this blog post with your results.
FYI #2: The only commas used in this entire post (except in the original book sysnopsis) segregate items in series.
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